Rubber Eye Cup

Rubber Eye Cup
Do American Evangelical Christians ever just enjoy their lives without constant nail-biting worship?

I’ve spent the last week surrounded by Evangelicals and let me tell you… These folks wear me out!

I’ve heard everything from criticisms about the way I was raised to how I just need to accept Jesus and blah, blah, blah…

They say the same things over and over and over and over… And each time, they get this little gleam in their eye like they just came up with some new and exciting take on things…

But I haven’t heard a single one of them say anything that wasn’t “evangelical” of them…

Do you think they go to bed and dream in scripture?

Do they wake up and pour themselves a big bowl of frosted mini-prayers?

And wash it down with a big steamin’ cup of Hallelujiah?

Are these the people that will one day walk out into the middle of traffic wearing a night-gown and rubber boots screaming about how the end is near?

They have no time to spare. They have to memorize Scripture, change the world, kill Muslims, and save the lives of undifferentiated cells. Soon they will be giving civil rights to the gleam in the eye before sex.

They have a big job to do, convince everyone else that they have found the ideal way to live and, unless you agree with their violent views, you are doomed to a screaming, eternal Hell. They actually enjoy the thought of your agonized screams.

I just heard Rush Limbaugh preaching on morality, while a large group of these religious nuts applauded. When a thrice-married drug addict is their model of propriety, our country is in real trouble. These people are slow learners. They just can’t accept the fact that they have lost an election, that a radical, violent approach to religion has been rejected, and that most Americans are ready to return to sanity, rather than preach a smug dogma of ethnic cleansing of all Muslims and live on a diet of fear and hatred laced with verses of Scrupture, twisted in meaning to support their archaic views..

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